The thoughts that made me smile all of a sudden were those silly things that a persn might not notice in another person till they actually sit back n think. Actual thots were about the way a person walked like it were a parade at every hour of the day. The way he just refuses to try n imitate or adapt the ways that others follow to be sophisticated or cool or impressive….in short to blend in. yet the same person can be adorable to all those other people who are round the clock trying to blend in….n they adore him because of those heart breaking yet inimitable ways. The idea or declaration of never giving in or never changing by that person and yet doing so so much different from who they are as a person that it surprises even an amoeba like me.
The idiosyncrasies of the joint hiccups and burps…all the time, everytime. The weirdness of being in love with smilies and making new ones and naming them….the surprising freshness of suddenly saying something unfathomable…. The repetitive yet endearing (sometimes annoying) habit of offering water every time you are with them and definitely drinkin from the same bottle rite after that.
Bitterness blinds you. Binds you from reaching out to those amazing things even though small happening around you. Stops you from admitting that they are tangible and there is a tiny heart beat in each of those things….creating millions of heart beats around you. No, they are not fragments of a broken heart….they are the several million heart beats that a person can send out for you…like they say….sometimes fragments diminish and dissipate….yet sometimes they add up to an ocean.
One fine morning when I look around my room to find orchids and lilies and jasmine and flowers that I do not even know the name of….i know …change is here…sitting at the foot of my bed smiling in that bright yet non-dazzling manner…the smile that I have only once seen when I have opened my eyes in the morning.
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